Back in the day, everything was different. The tooth fairy would visit now and then, brown cows would make chocolate milk, and you could grow a watermelon in your stomach if you swallowed a seed. But fast forward to today and the things that looked totally normal for you as a child, are, let’s put it this way—plain weird.
So when one redditor posed the question: “What things did you do as a kid that you now realize is extremely weird?” on r/AskReddit, 21K comments flooded in. From eating rose petals to trying not to breathe in too much ‘cause the air is full of germs, these are some of the craziest things we did because, I mean, we had to.
After you’re back from this memory lane down below, be sure to check out our previous post on things people considered normal while growing up that now look kinda weird. Life has happened to all of us, but that sheer ridiculousness from our childish selves is still lingering.
#1
I used to stand naked in my bedroom window and try to stay as still as possible so the neighbours would think my parents had had a statue made of me.I would stand in different poses, too, so they'd think there were multiple Dendronate statues which my parents would rotate around the house.
The way I saw it, only important people had statues built of them. I wanted the neighbours to know they lived near a pretty important guy.
Image credits: DendroNate
#2
When I was around 8 years old, I liked the way clean towels tasted. Something I really enjoyed was putting a towel over a straw, and drinking kool-aid through it.My mother wasn't a fan of having white towels covered with red spots, so she put a stop to it pretty quick
Image credits: IrrationallyCalm
#3
Found a cat skull buried in the garden, pulled the teeth out and put them under my pillow for what i thought would be easy money
Image credits: WilliamsD93
Bored Panda reached out to Sarah Ockwell-Smith, a parenting expert and author of “The Gentle Parenting Book” to find out more about the curious minds of children that we all seem to have had up until some point. We asked Sarah how it is so that we believed the most incredible stuff and at what point it disappeared.
Sarah explained that at around two and three years of age, the child enters a normal stage of development that psychologists call "magical thinking."
“During this period, children are particularly imaginative, believing in mythical creatures, and they also believe that they can influence the world around them with certain beliefs and actions.” Like, “if they jump up and down ten times, they may be able to make fairies appear.”
#4
When I was a kid, in the 80's, I had very strict teachers. Any form of back-talking or, god forbid, swearing, would get you a quick slap and a fast march to the head teacher's office to explain yourself.My teacher once sat me down for "A talk", as happened fairly often, which was basically her just berating me. In the middle of this she suddenly stopped and told me I needed to keep my eyes under control, because I had this terrible nervous habit of twitching my eyes when she was talking to me.
In actual fact, I was tracing out imaginary swear words with my eyes. Basically, drawing out things like "PISS OFF" and "SHUT UP", tracing the letters with my eyes as if they were right in front of her face.
I didn't realize she could see my eye movements - I mean, I don't know why, as an adult it's obvious that my eyes were darting all over the place and looking crazy, but child me thought that it was subtle enough that it was unnoticeable, and that I was being super sneaky.
As soon as I realized she could see it, I stopped, but looking back, probably the funniest part to me now is how much it must have unnerved her. And she never did know the reason for it. To her, I must've just been the weird kid with the crazy eyes.
#5
I used to have “science experiments” in the bathroom sink. Meaning, I’d go the bathroom and lock the door. Once in I’d make sure the sink drain was shut and then proceed to add every cleaner/ chemical/ shampoo etc under the sink to the sink in hopes of a reaction. Never got one, but it also never stopped me from trying. In hindsight I probably could have killed myself if I had mixed the wrong stuff. I obviously didn’t.
Image credits: WilliamHarry
#6
In grade 1 we would sit in a group on the floor in front of the teacher while she read us stories. I would sit at the back of the group against the wall and pull my pants halfway down my bum. I liked feeling the cool ground/wall against my bare butt.At this point, kids often have imaginary friends too, which is again “a completely normal phase of child development.” Sarah said it’s caused by immature brain development and concrete knowledge of the world around them. Adults may also encourage this thinking with books, films, shows, toys, and even actions. “Like pretending to be the Tooth Fairy, Santa, or the Easter Bunny. So a lot of it is actually just learned behavior,” Sarah explained.
A big change in children’s development happens as they approach the "concrete operational stage" at around seven or eight years. “At this age, brain development has taken a big leap and children are much more experienced at logical and hypothetical thinking.” Sarah said that this is when they are able to work out that unicorns and Santa don’t exist as their knowledge and experience is way more matured.
#7
When I was in elementary school I would use one hand to cover my butt when I showered because I was afraid that a monster would warp through the bathroom wall and attack my butthole#8
When I was around 5, I would basically act like a train and follow the lines on the playground whilst also using my hands as those little rail things on the wheels (Coupling rods), I would also look directly up when it was cold and use my mouth as a chimney. Honestly it must have looked like I was insane#9
I (a girl) used to sit back to front on the toilet to pee. My reasoning was that that way it sounded like my dad peeing and then the monsters wouldn't try to grab me. Childhood anxiety is wild!After it, the "tween years" follow at age eight to thirteen. It’s these that are full of skepticism. “Parents can often struggle with this and try to cling onto the magical world of their child's early years for too long,” Sarah said. However, the best response is always to be led by the child. “This stage is important for children, though, as they transition from childhood to adulthood.” Life happens and this is how they become grumpy realists like me and you.
#10
Blink at things because I thought it would help with my memory. I would imagine my eyes were like cameras and each blink was a shutter click.
Image credits: fizzy_eyes
#11
Running any lollipop or sucker I ate under the faucet water after every lick because somehow it tasted better after being rinsed lol#12
Saying some gibberish all the time and thinking that it is probably meaningful in some languages. I felt smart as hell#13
Every time I ever turned a full circle for any reason I would always turn a full circle the other way as well to make sure that it was "balanced" because I didn't want to turn one way more than the other.#14
Purple was my favorite color but I didn't like the word so I called it murdalop.#15
Whenever I got new shoes, I would hold the old shoes up to my face, breath in and then breath on the new shoes. I would then say, “transfer of souls complete.”
#16
I would give myself a limit of three repeats when listening to a favorite song on a CD. I was convinced the artist was literally in the studio singing the song over-and-over again and would get sick of me. Didn’t wanna piss ‘em off.#17
Used to eat sugar sandwiches. Bread butter and sugar
Image credits: UnknownXIV
#18
I still cringe when I think about this.In elementary school when I got a good grade I did the crash bandicoot dance.
#19
I would add several drops of Tabasco to my unsweetened iced tea. I called it Asian tea despite knowing Tabasco and Lipton were in no way Asian. I also didn't like it very much but made myself drink it so that I could understand the Asian community better.Asian friends I have now are still baffled at the connection I tried to make.
#20
I used to eat mechanical pencil lead. No idea how I got into that habit, but I think I enjoyed the crunchiness of it. Did it for a little while, but showed a classmate and she immediately went to the teacher who then called my mom who scolded me and told me to stop. Goodbye 0.7 mm, you will be missed.#21
I used to eat tissues as a kid. My mum found out one day and yelled at me to stop, (as any sane parent would do) so I started eating them in secret. Sneaking away with a tissue box to another room to eat a tissue or two.Until one day when I was about 5 years old I had to go to the hospital. I had no idea what was going on all I knew was that I had trouble breathing through my nose. Before my operation I was in the hospital and I overheard one of the nurses say that they just needed to remove the excess tissue in my nose. Naturally I thought that the tissues I had eaten had started getting clogged up in my nose and I never ate a tissue again. I made the realisation at 14 that it was muscle tissue in my nose and not the actual tissues I was eating.
#22
When I was four or so, we lived in a flat in the USA that had this massive concrete structure behind it. I've no idea what it was, but at the bottom of it was at least a foot of dank water, trees, etc. I was convinced it was a swimming pool, and begged my mum to let me swim in it. "No, absolutely not," she said. "It's full of snapping turtles, and they will snap off your fingers." I also wanted to eat all these berries that were on local bushes. "No, absolutely not. Those are poisonous. They'll make you very sick and then dead."Clever me, I put the two ideas together and thus spent that summer throwing poison berries into the swamp structure in order to kill all the turtles. Four years old, stuck on murder mode for three months.
#23
For much of second grade, for some reason, my parents let me pack my own lunch.I had two sandwiches of choice- one was what I called a triple butter sandwich: peanut butter, apple butter, and butter. A little strange, but okay.
The other was a lettuce sandwich. White bread, mayo, and a few leaves of iceberg lettuce.
I have no idea how they let me eat that for most of a full school year.
#24
I used to keep the last piece of food I was eating in my mouth even for an hour. For example, if I was eating pizza, the last piece of the last slice would remain in my mouth while I went playing and running around. I stopped at the age of 9 when I almost died of asphyxiation#25
I didn't know that people could see my eyes move and used to have my head in one direction and look with my eyes somewhere else. It wasn't before a girl saw me looking at her and said « what are YOU looking at» I figured that out. I Was 7 or 8 years old and my mind was blown, my eyes move???#26
A few years ago, I was visiting my aunt and uncle, and they had some old film from the '80s of my extended family on a camping trip. There was a full playset there including a trampoline, and my mother was filming my cousins and I playing. I'm not sure why my aunt and uncle had the tape instead of my mother, but whatever.I was about 3 at the time, and my mother panned the camera away from my cousins playing on a swing set towards me on the trampoline. Except I was lying face down on the trampoline, full-on thrusting my hips into it as hard as I could.
Now, I don't specifically remember doing that, but I have a pretty good idea of how my little mind worked at the time. I'm certain that I was just trying to see if I could build up enough force to lift myself off the trampoline mat, or flip myself over. Still, not exactly the best thing to be watching with your aunt and uncle, who threatened to save it and show at my wedding.
Jokes on them; I pocketed the tape when they weren't looking.
#27
When I was around 4-5 years old I remember I used to sneak downstairs very early in the morning and search for any cups with that ½" of cold sweet sugary coffee in, and drink them before anyone got up. Guess I may have been the youngest caffeine addict in Britain.#28
Not exactly something i did regularly but more of an extremely weird thing I once asked. I was probably 8 or 9 when i just nonchalantly asked my father to show me how to "beat the meat" because some classmates of mine were constantly using this term and i genuinely didn't know what it meant. Needless to say he replied with a firm "absolutely not" to which at the time, i was utterly offended by but today i understand it was probably for the best.. Oh well.#29
I would walk out the bathroom after taking a poop and spread my butt cheeks to whoever was in the living room and ask, "Is my butt clean?". One time it was the guy cleaning our carpet.
#30
I used to run a “purified dust” cartel. My school had a sandbox area with eucalyptus trees, and I’d assign workers to throw sand over the trees so that the larger pieces would get filtered out by the bark. The remaining powder was labeled “purified dust.” Surprisingly, a huge number of kids were interested in buying our purified dust. Our currency was plastic BB gun pellets, and a pinch of dust was worth 5 pink pellets. Different colored pellets had different values, and freshly made dust cost more than old dust.There were even different “companies” of people creating purified dust at different trees. We’d devise plans to sabotage each other so that our own company could earn more profit. We were basically 6-year old a**holes running a fake cocaine business. Weird times.
#31
I would come up with all sorts of supernatural and conspiracy theories to explain the world around me. I thought people were spying on me. If anyone laughed outside while I was on the toilet, I'd be convinced that they could see me and were laughing at me. I wouldn't characterize it as paranoia, it was more like extreme self-centeredness. I had trouble comprehending that there was a world out there that didn't involve me in any way. This went on until I was about 15 - 16 I think.#32
I used to waste a ton of water by turning on the shower and lay on the floor next to it with a towel over my body and fall asleep with a tiny bit of water splashing on my face. I used to imagine I was in a cave and it was raining outside for some reason. ah good times#33
Bury roadkill, random bones I'd find, fish scales, etc.It just seemed more respectful then letting them... sit there. Especially after it got to the point that buzzards and vultures wouldn't even eat it
#34
I ate cupcake wrappers after finishing the cupcakes. Like I would just suck on it (the paper ones) and chew until there was zero flavour, then spit it out.#35
I once wandered out of the open back door in the townhouse we lived in when I was 5. Found the biggest pit bull I could and made friends with it.Unfortunately, when my dad came to collect me, the dog was not so happy about it. Said the dog chased him away and he had to talk me into coming home from a distance lol.
He still swears to this day I have magical animal powers.
#36
Pooped my pants, then picked the poop out of my underwear and hid it under the sofa so my parents wouldn’t know.#37
I for some reason had one mission as a kid. I would try my best to make people believe I was the smartest kid ever. I would talk gibberish to make people think I could talk another language, I would also make words up to give the impression that my vocabulary was so advanced. But it all backfired when I lost the spelling B in the 1st round then I failed 1st grade. I was a sad kid.#38
Had an imaginary friend that I would make bets with, that I was guaranteed to win. The prize being ludicrous amounts of imaginary money.“Hey Joe, I bet you 1 figillion septriligon dollars I can hold my breath for 3 seconds”
God, I was rich back then...
#39
I have a memory of when I was maybe 3 or 4. I tried to nurse a kitten lmao#40
Not me, but my partner used to keep Kiwis (the fruits) as pets. He would name them and take care of them...until his mom took them to blend into a smoothie.That was a rude awakening for him.
#41
I liked the taste of rock, my mother told me I used to pick up rocks and taste them when I was 3. I wonder if I ever had my own gourmet and if I had different types of “meals” like bricks and stuff#42
Several friends and myself had a fascination with writing in code. We had little pocket notebooks full of codes and deciphering instructions (also in code) and would write volumes of notes between us in code. Notebooks got confiscated by a teacher, we wouldn't tell her how to decode, she tried to get us in trouble. Parents thought it was hilarious. I'm almost 60 and I still have one of these notebooks around somewhere.#43
I picked up ants and licked their butts. Tasted like citrus. I was about 10 or 11.#44
When I was in 3rd grade I would dress as little bo peep while I took my poodle for walks and ask my neighbors if they have seen my other sheep#45
I mixed ketchup and mustard together and called it my secret sauce. I used it as a dip for Fritos. I was convinced I’d make millions off it.#46
I would only sit on the toilet with the shower cap on my head.#47
Found out that the air had germs in it and tried not to breathe too much.#48
I would go out to my local cemetery and talk to dead people. I would find someone whose anniversary it was, either birth ar death, and just wish them well. I don't think it's weird now, I still do it, but I definitely thought it was weird at the time.#49
I used to pinch my eyelids ever so gently, vertically and pull them away from my eye, just to let then snap back so I could feel the air bubbles popping against my eyes.#50
There were spiders and mice in my room which totally freaked me out so every night before I went to sleep I'd whisper a report of what the weather was outside to encourage them to go outside rather than stay inside and bite me in my sleep#51
I used to like chewing sponges. Bath sponges. I'd get them wet, wring them out a bit then put the whole thing or as much as possible in there and just chew#52
I use to eat ants, I didn't even like the taste, and I kept doing it#53
Ate rose petals. My grandfather told me they are edible. I still eat one when I go visit his grave.#54
Whenever I say something funny I'd keep saying it until someone tells me to shut up And even then I'd find someone else to share the funny with#55
I used to steal things from my sister when she was mean to me, and then hide them by sewing them into her stuffed animals... She found out a few months ago and was really freaked out#56
I used to run around the house shaking my head and laughing like ed from ed, edd and eddy because it felt funny. I now realize that my mom was probably looking at me and wondering what went wrong XD#57
I used to bite my toenails. Which is disgusting by the way, don't do that.#58
Until I was like... 8, whenever I was on a car journey I'd spend the entire time moving my eyes from one side of the road to another, trying to avoid the streetlamps. I'd get really excited if the windscreen wipers would move exactly between the lamps and would become actively stressed out if they 'hit' the street lamps. If I'm being honest, it still slightly bothers me, I just don't mention it anymore haha#59
When I was in fourth grade (so around 9 or 10) at a private school, we used pinto beans as counters during math. Well, one day someone realized if you put a bean in water, it would sprout, and it became incredibly fashionable to keep a couple living bean sprouts hidden in your desk at all times.This turned into a whole industry. Sneaking to the cabinet in the back and stealing the beans was risky, so people took on those roles. The beans were old, so getting them to actually sprout was valuable. Others would sneak the sprouts in and out of class to get sun.
A boy's grandparents had bought him a science experiment kit that came with hundreds of these little plastic vials that stood up on their own. They were the perfect size for keeping a sprouted pinto bean, so he started trading them. Another two kids had water bottles with a straw that fit neatly into the vials and made it easy to water the sprouts. They turned it into a service.
One pretty talented group of girls started making houses out of paper and cardboard for the sprouts to "live" in. This allowed bean "families" to become a thing. Another girl realized that the houses meant there was a market for bean sprout furniture. Kids starting pulling textbooks out of their desks and stashing them around the classroom to make space for larger and larger houses.
The houses were a turning point, because they ran anywhere from $5 to $10, which was the first time anyone had charged real money for something instead of bartering. In addition, demand for sprouts went through the roof, since you could fit 4 or 5 in a house. The kid who had been successfully sprouting the beans is under immense pressure to produce, and we've crossed a threshold so people are willing to pay real money now.
Into this high-pressure situation walks my classmate Julia. Julia brings a tiny bottle of purple liquid one day and tells bean-sprouter kid that it's the diluted slime of an extremely rare snail from the forests up north that she collected herself while camping with her family. It's such a strong fertilizer, even diluted, that one drop in each vial will guarantee that a bean will sprout; in addition, a drop to each already-sprouted bean will ensure a nice, green plant. There's enough for around 50 sprouts in there, but it's going to cost him $20 for the whole bottle.
Well, if you're selling the sprouts at $1 each, $20 is a steal. So the kid comes back the next day with the cash, Julia gives him the fertilizer, and he puts a drop in each vial just before we leave to go home.
The next day, all his bean sprouts are dead, and he's pissed. Turns out the fertilizer was just Julia's mom's perfume, and it killed all the plants. Well, bean-sprouter kid is not the kind of person to take this laying down, so he goes to the teacher to tell her that he got conned.
And the whole thing unravels. The teacher is upset that her students have been devoting hours of in-class time to beans. Parents are upset that money they thought was for snacks or field trips was for beans. The principal has to announce to the whole school that growing plants in your desk is now banned, which just confuses everyone else. And my class is angry at poor bean-sprouting kid for snitching and ruining everything. All their hard work is now in the trash.
The bean sprout industry never recovered.
#60
I thought I was pregnant because I was fat. I watched this TV show that described water breaking before birth and went swimming the next day being worried my water would break while I was in the water and I wouldn't know and I'd have the baby right then and there.#61
Until I was about 11-12, I used to imagine my brain as an endless room, full of filing cabinets for different things; memories, schoolwork, random facts etc. And in the centre of this room sat a toad in a waistcoat, in a rocking chair with a pipe (think Wind in the Willows), under a single lamp. If I couldn't remember something, I'd ask him to look it up in my filing cabinets and off he'd go, and then I'd remember.NGL, I had an excellent memory as a kid haha
#62
I would "talk to myself " and say good things about the ghosts in my house so they don't f*ck me up or something
#63
Only draw monsters. My pa said he worried I'd be a serial killer#64
I used to drink my own blood whenever I got cut because I thought I had a limited amount and would die if I didn't#65
I poked out the eyes of all of the photos of friends and family in my room... must have scared the sh*t out of my parents
#66
Thinking my life is a television show and every birthday was the beginning of a new season#67
We used to play hide and seek, my favorite place of hiding was inside the trash can outside.#68
I wiped my nose on the carpet all the time#69
I used to eat the ends of burnt matches. I just loved the taste. I did this from as early as I can remember until I was like 15.#70
Walking upstairs like an animal. Ngl though in my early twenties I still do that sometimes, you know, for a treat#71
Used to eat a palm-full of mustard, as a snack. Just squirt right from the bottle to palm, lick on it for a few.We were poor.
#72
My mum told me that when I was really little, I stood at the top of the stairs and said “my old mummy used to throw me down the stairs”. I don’t believe in reincarnation and I know I wasn’t adopted so I don’t know what that was about.#73
I would sometimes think of myself in the future, thinking back at that past self thinking at the future. As a way of communicating with myself outside space and time. Sounds really silly.I'll give an example: sometime in middle school, when I was having a big math test, during the test I stopped solving it and started thinking of future me and told myself "Hello"
Then sometime in high-school I remembered that, and said hello back to my younger self.
:)) I don't know what was that about, it kept ongoing for a few good years, don't do it anymore
#74
Pretending I went blind for a month. Pretending I was suddenly paralyzed at school, so I wouldn’t have to go to mass. Calling 911 reporting myself kidnapped and leaving a ransom note written in crayon. Yeah... I had issues.#75
When eating a bowl of vanilla ice cream I'd put some in my mouth and then spit it back out into the bowl, and then stirl. I'd do it a couple times and essentially make my own soft serve. I told an ex about it 'bout a year ago. It was the first time I ever talked about it out loud and that's when I realized it was pretty f**kin weird
#76
I used to put red split lentils up my nose until they tickled and I sneezed them out. It was one of my favourite secret games.#77
I'd soak my face cloth in water during a bath and suck the water out of it.#78
I saved up all the cream from my Oreos in a tupperware then made it into a ball and gave it to my dad on his birthday.I mean ngl he looked happy, But i could never bring myself to tell him on how much saliva was in the damn thing.
#79
There was a short period as a kid where I really liked onions. I would just snack on them as if they were apples.#80
I used to open my mouth and do a really loud "CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" sound because it vibrated my sinuses and made them feel less painful for a couple minutes, turns out I had terrible allergies and having massive sinus pressure in your face isn't normal, We didn't figure this out until I was like 10 and my parents had my doctor give me allergy meds.#81
I used to try to eat ants and snails. I stopped when I was 5 or so.#82
Make out with dolls. I was a horny Mf#83
I would rub my mom's elbow while falling asleepsomething about the texture comforts me
#84
I used to sleep in my school uniform so I could have extra time in bed in the morning#85
In the 3rd and 4th grade i ran a toy bank in the schoolyard. All the kids would gamble for pokemon cards, draco heads etc. When someone lost all their pokemom cars from the flip game, they would come to me and borrow cards for a chance to win their cards back. If they borrowed 3 cards and won, they would give back my 3 cards free of charge. If they lost on the other hand, they were required to bring me 5 cards the next day. After a while i had so many cards that i would never run out, and it basically became a matter of the house never losing. I kept records in a little book and all. Tl;dr: i was a bookie for toys in elementary school.#86
Oh! In elementary school, I’d do this thing where some girl and I stuck our tongues out and then made them touch. I’ve done this with like 10s of girls, it wasn’t anything romantic/sexual it was just for fun.Straightest part of my life tho...
#87
Before a shower, I would get naked, run to my front door open it, shake my naked bum, then go shower.#88
Whenever i killed an Ant I would think I was going to Die that night and tried apologizing to god every time I accidentally killed one.#89
The main one I remember is if I went to the toilet after dark I would run back to bed after flushing the toilet like I was doing the 100m. Small me thought that I was disturbing the ghosts with the noise and they'd leave me alone if I was under the covers#90
As a young kid, I decided it was a good idea to melt chocolate on the furnace and then scrape it off and eat it. Guess who is not working for NASA.#91
When I was 6, I had trouble sleeping alone, so mom would sleep next to me. However, I was rather attached to her arm and would not let it go. She literally had to pry herself off of me. So the solution? I have an arm instead of a teddy bear. Still got it laying in my room, friends get creeped out by it all the time.#92
When I was 6 I started to chew on my dog's teeth cleaning bone things, because it tasted like chicken and I thought I didn’t have to brush my teeth anymore. Ngl that sh*t was Gourmet as f**k
#93
In kindy, I ate glue. Just the glue off the glue sticks. I ate it, not just licked it.#94
At 6, I would dress up in a sparkly yellow two piece skirt and tube top covered in butterflies, grab the poor cat, climb up into the tree in the front yard, and pet her, staring off into the distance while trying to look like a mysterious magical person in order to impress the neighbor children. They were not impressed. Months later I snuck into their house when no one was home, made myself a bowl of ice cream, wandered around, and then left. They talked about how freaky it was coming home to dirty dishes they weren't responsible for, but never suspected me. Vigilante justice I guess? Oh. And at 13 a friend and I played with barbie dolls, except they were all strippers trying to beat each other for the top spot. They were paid in a currency we called croutons. ¯_(ツ)_/¯#95
I would steal people's house keys then return them later without them knowing.In elementary school, all of the kid's backpacks were placed under the table. I would crawl under there and try to find people's house keys. But I would only keep them until I found out the person had replaced his/her keys, then I'd sneakily return them back and it had to be in the same place I found them.
#96
y'all know how people sometimes create scenarios in their mind while daydreaming? yeah that, only i was a bit of a lonely kid in a pretty large house so i used to act them out and imagine the things and people actually around me.i sometimes still catch myself doing without realizing but atleast it's made me a decent enough conversationalist.
#97
I had an old telephone handset. I took it when we changed the house phone. I used to pretend i had loads of friends and at night would have conversations with my imaginary friends.#98
I ate dirt. Fruit and veggies come out of dirt so it must taste like them, right?#99
I was that kid who kept pots of bugs in their desk (my school still had those lifty lid desks). I got into trouble for it because a lot of ladybugs got loose one day.#100
I was obsessed with the 'cool side of the pillow'. I would bring my pillow around to breakfast and dinner, since I'd either just woken up or as the pregame to sleep. I'd sit at the table with my head on the pillow or just running my hands over it and even getting the edges like I was tweaking a radio tuner before flipping it over and starting again.#101
i asked my mom why we never french kissed after i saw my dad french kiss his girlfriend at the time. yeah.#102
I used to lick the screen door#103
When I was alone I used to narrate my life like I was on a TV show just incase I was. I'd try to be all funny and clever and I'm pretty sure I thought I could get famous that way.#104
I liked playing with Microsoft Paint. I would use the biggest zoom, pick a color and a small brush, and just...paint the whole sheet. Pixel. By. Pixel. I dunno why, now as an adult that seems pretty boring, but it really relaxed kid me, maybe?#105
My parents told me if I swallowed fruit seeds, a tree would grow out of my head. I accidentally swallowed an orange seed. Instead of telling someone, I distinctly remember being sad but oddly accepting that I was going to die. I quietly gave my toys & books away & said goodbyes bc I was pretty sure I didn’t have long bc the tree growing out of my head would kill me.Eventually, I forgot about it tho bc no plants ever sprouted from my head.
#106
When I was in grade 2 my friend and I used to pull our eyelashes out. No idea why.#107
I used to run like sonic the hedgehog going home from school when i was like 8 and now i have my friends remind me all the time...f*** you sonic#108
I ate my mom’s silicone bra fillers. Thought they had a top-noch flavor, plus it was fun to remove the material protecting the silicone with my teeth. I still remember the flavor and honestly? Not too bad. I never fell sick because of it and I often joke about how eating it gave me the weird qualities I have today.I also ate toilet paper by deconstructing the paper so it had all of its layers separated. Then I’d rip small pieces off and let it melt on my tongue. Sometimes it tasted just fine but other times it tasted way too chemical-y, so I mostly did it for the feeling.
#109
I used to heavily believe ghosts, demons, and monsters were real, so before bedtime I would check under my bed 10-15 times and pray to any gods that I knew of at that time to not let the demon and ghosts kill me.Afterwards I would place a chair under my door knob to keep the demons and monsters at bay (In my mind, I actually thought it would work as a kid.) then I would surround myself in pillows and cover my whole entire body with a blanket besides my mouth and nose because I truly thought that would prevent me from being killed lmfao.
#110
I was convinced someone was going to break in our house and come after me. So, logically, it only made sense not to sleep in my bed and instead sleep in the closet.#111
I used to think everything that happens around me was a set up. Parents, house, neighbours, friends, kin everyone were paid actors and nothing was true and it was all a part of big scheme of something I couldn't understand.Crazy to think I used to imagine all of this at a very young age with no outside influence at all.
#112
I used to stick my head in the empty dryer and sing my heart out! I “opened” for Michael Jackson like a hundred times...#113
We had two pear trees on our farm growing up. When they would fall to the ground and get mushy, the bees would come to eat them. I would take the mush pears and rub them all over and sit in this white plastic chair and let the bees feast off of my mushy pear body.Not a sexual thing. Idk why I did it but I did it often. My mom was shocked the first time she saw me covered in bees. Lol. She still talks about that to this day.
#114
I had three imaginary friends. Their names were Zalek , Malek and Talek, with Zalek being my favorite friend. I used to play with them, talk to them and I guess I scared the shit out of my parents lol.Then Malek and Talek faded away, with only Zalek staying. Parents got me a robot toy and I kinda projected Zalek into that robot and when the robot broke Zalek kinda left with it.
#115
Hold funerals for the dead worms after my father used them to fish. Make each a raft and send them off into the lake/river.#116
If any of my shirts had a front pocket, I would put a Kraft single in it— and just sort of walked around with cheese in my pocket#117
Between the ages of 5 and 7, I was a really big fan of nature documentaries, especially those narrated by David Attenborough. There was a big flamboyant tree in our garden that shed lots of twigs. I imagined those twigs were snakes and would spend hours every day narrating documentaries about them in David Attenborough's voice. Each "snake" had a different scientific name I would give them and they had very specific hunting tactics and courtship displays and territorial fights.#118
Around 5 years of age I plucked out all of my eyelashes because my eyes would itch. But my eyes were itching because I was touching my eyes. My parents had to explain to my kindergarten teachers and other parents why I looked so odd.#119
I had a best friend. An imaginary friend. A friend called Connor. My name is Connor. We shared the exact same full name. He stopped hanging out with me because I was boring.#120
My uncle used to have embossed wallpaper with a berry design.Inspired by Willy Wonka, I peeled the embossed berries off the wall and ate them
#121
Blinking while walking so I could pretend that I can teleport#122
I used to think that we were all characters in a book that someone was reading right now, and that’s why we were moving, eating and talking...etc, and that when we go to sleep at night it means that that person closed the book.I also used to think that all days in each week had different and new names. I’d always say that “I only know Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. But I don’t know what comes after that.”
#123
My cousins lived across the street from a huge cemetery. I was the second to youngest of all my cousins so while they did older kid things, I would hang out, play and explore in the cemetery by myself. I noticed that after a funeral, the newly buried graves would have mounds of flowers kind of haphazardly placed on top and around them. For some reason, I felt bad for the graves that didn’t have flowers because that meant no one was visiting them. So I made it my goal to distribute the flowers to as many graves as my little self could manage...sometimes placing just one or two in the little headstone vases. I hope it gave me good ghost karma, if there is such a thing.#124
Eat little pieces of paper#125
I used to eat cat food because I thought I would become a cat if I did that#126
Me and my mates used to poop on the road then wait until a car ran over it then celebrated.#127
Piss on my closet floor#128
I would wash things made of rubber, like the kind of rubber that already feels slightly tacky, then pat it dry with a really fluffy towel so the rubber would get kind of fuzzy from the towel fluff, then I would just touch it until the fuzz wore off.Turns out I was just autistic and no one had figured it out yet. I still have a thing about textures but in a much less weird way.
#129
I loved the way the air that comes out the back of vacuum's smelt. I used to follow the vacuum cleaner around while my mum was cleaning with my face against the vent. I would turn it on when other people were not around and smell it. Also, I'm not sure if this is normal or not but when I was about 8 I used to run around with nothing but a towl singing 'duna duna duna duna duna duna FLASH MAN' to the tune of batman, then show everyone my di*k.
#130
Used to piss in bottles. Like outside. Where, you know, I could have just pissed anywhere.. I once got busted for breaking a pane of plastic in a neighbors shed because I left my distinctive calling card at the scene.Fwiw, I piss in urinals and toilets now. (I only piss in bottles when robbing the national mint)..
#131
Two things contributed to this. 1) a nun talking about how you didn’t have to do the sign of the cross to pray and you could just think things and god would get the message as a prayer. 2) somehow just in general was paranoid people could read my mind. Some people think in words and some people think in thoughts. I think in words. So there was no end to my inner dialogue/monologue and I was always very f**king obsessive about doctoring or qualifying thoughts. Like even when my thoughts were just echoing people’s words as I heard them I just for clarity’s sake mentally inserted a “he said” or “she asked” because I didn’t want things to be confusing for whoever was reading my surface thoughts.
#132
A lot of things. To name a few, I liked eating fish food for some reason. I guess I wanted to try it cause hey, if the fish eat it it must be good?If I tried calling my friends and no one answered the phone sometimes I'd call repeatedly, like 5 times in a row. I didn't realize how wacky it is to do something like that. I don't remember why, but I think one of my friends once called from her grandma's house, so sometimes I'd even try that number to see if she was there, and or call it repeatedly. Oof, I feel so bad in hindsight. I had no idea how weird it was back then.
Oh yeah, and usually this was only with family, but sometimes I'd leave ridiculously long messages on the answering machine. Like they'd be so long that I'd hear the beep which meant it was no longer recording the message, and sometimes I'd even call again just so I could finish what I was saying cause I got cut off. Yeah pretty silly.
#133
So my step brother was 6 and I (male) was 8 when we first met.When he and his mom eventually moved in a year or two later, I was going through a period of time where noone taught me the proper way to wipe. So, instead of front to back (taint to asshole) I was back to front (asshole to taint).
That would cause irritation, which I called "lightning in the butt".
SO, my solution to relieving the irritation was to lay down on the couch, put a round puff pillow over my butt, and have him sit on it and hop up and down as we both chanted "lightning in the butt" over and over again.
Suffice it to say my dad and step mom put a stop to it, and I learned to wipe correctly over time. Thank god.
#134
Wearing velcro strap shoes so tight they'd probably cut off the circulation in my feet because I was worried my shoes would fall off. I used to eat butter straight out the tub too, my 5 year old niece has started doing it... maybe it's a family trait#135
In 2003 for roll call I always replied with a different star wars quote, made it my mission to never repeat a line#136
I collected farts in a gallon jug.#137
Me and my friends bought Katana swords in a Chinese shop. The swords were fake, of course. They were much smaller and not well made. But they were made of real metal and they had a sharp blade. Each one cost about 10€. Of course, it was cool for us to play, especially if we take some stuff and try to cut. But the best was when we fought each other. We stopped doing that after a fight when the blade came out of the stand where the blade just fell off and almost hit my friend in the stomach. That's when we just stopped and threw the swords away, and we didn't want our parents to know.When I think about it now we were just idiots when we bought them, especially since we were 14,15 years old.
#138
I used to sit on the floor with my legs in a W shape. Found out 40+ years later this is typical for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.#139
Purposely spill toothpaste on my school jumper so I could chew and suck on it throughout the day sh*t was cash tasted like polos
#140
I hunted down ants when I was 4, and put them in a jar. When I had 10 or so I would eat them aliveAlso, I would sit on the toilet while pooping with a paper on my hand and grab it as it fell. Then, I would slowly pack like a Mc donalds employee would pack a hamburger. When it was wrapped with toilet paper I'd let it down. This was a way to do a "fast food dor the fish". I imaginated they would open the paper and eat the crap.
#141
In around 3rd or 4th grade, I would stay up really late and have to use the bathroom. Because I didn’t want my mom finding out I was up, I would lift up the rug next to my bed, piss under it, and put it back down. I was not the brightest kid#142
Classify/name my poops based on size, shape, consistency.#143
When I was 7 I began making plaster casts of animal tracks. I had a collection of dogs and cats. One morning, I made one of a huge unidentified track near the house that was not there the previous day. My dad said I faked it and to quit fibbing.Later that day the Idaho Fish and Game was getting a black bear out of the tree about 15 feet from where I had spent an hour casting the track. Probably watched me the entire time and I didn't notice.
I took the casting to show and tell. The teacher asked me to stop fibbing.
#144
When I was around 6 years old, I would stuff pillows into my clothes and then jump off the top of my playground, run into walls at a full sprint, etc. to see how much the pillows would absorb the impact. Not much. I also tried jumping off my roof into a bush because it looked fluffy. Not fluffy#145
Chewed gum off the wall. I thought of it as free gum so why not? Some of them still had flavor.#146
Well, when I was 5 I decided to just run out of the house, break into another in the street and jump on the bed for an hour.#147
God, this is a really weird one that I completely forgot about. When I was in primary school, around the age of 9 onwards, I used to sit in chairs with armrests, lift myself off the chair with my hands, cross my legs one over another and squeeze really tightly. I would do this until I felt a certain sensation in my ‘downstairs region’. It was only when I started masturbating that I realised it had the same sensation. I was giving myself orgasms without realising, at the ripe old age of 9. What a lovely thought.#148
I used to put all the insects I would find under a rock into a bucket of water and watch how long it took them to die.I had noticed that if you left a bucket of water outside after about a week or so things would start growing in it. I didn’t know where those things came from and assumed they were bugs. So by testing all the bugs under a rock in the water I could work out which ones were growing.
Which is pretty scientific for a 5 year old. And also a bit ghoulish.
I never did find out what it was that was growing in the water, but I did discover that woodlice can survive underwater for a good few days. (They have gills and are related to crabs and lobsters).
I’m still waiting for my Nobel prize.
#149
Sometimes I chewed up mouthfuls of Saltines and spit them into balls that I kept in a drawer to eat later. I thought it was more convenient because I wouldn't have to chew them.#150
I would stare at women's breasts with my head angled upward. I didn't think people could see eyes moving.#151
Age 3, wasn’t allowed to put water in my toy teapot to pour drinks at the tea party I was hosting for my dolls - so I pissed in the teapot and served steaming piss instead#152
I used to draw on my penis....#153
Couple things actually, one when I was really young I used to play with lint and other fabric from random things and pretend they were people and play with them. I’d flick them around like they’re jumping around or attacking each other. Family thought I was weird.Another thing I used to do was draw video game characters and cut them out to play with them and use them as toys. Kinda forgot about this when I got older
#154
Get butt ass naked every time I needed to poop. This was from about 3-8. Even though I don’t usually do it anymore I’ll stand by it being way more comfortable than pooping with clothes on.#155
I use to cut up large cardboard boxes to look like cars. I would then take these boxes, which basically just had a hole in the bottom so my head could stick through it, and then run full speed into a couch in my house to crash these "box cars".Normally this would result in me flipping over the couch and onto it. I did this to simulate crashing, I would even take smaller boxes and but them on my head as a helmet. I would do this continuously until the box would tear and wasn't usable.
Honestly it was a blast and I would still do it if I was still a kid.
#156
So I was really toddler-small (3-4?), but somehow I suddenly took it into my head that when I close my eyes, it becomes dark. So for a while it was almost impossible to put me to bed, and I felt really guilty for eventually falling asleep because then everybody had to sit in the dark until I woke up.#157
I used to suck on rock salt like it was candy.#158
When I was young I went fishing a lot with my dad.He would prepare the fish food with the local lake water and I would eat from it while he wasn't looking.
I am very lucky that I didn't catch a prion or something else nasty.
#159
When I was a kid going somewhere with my parents in the car, to keep myself occupied I would imagine a tiny character (from whatever was popular at the time, action man, sonic the hedgehog etc.) Running and jumping along the walls/ houses/ hedgerows and other cars/ trucks as like an obstacle course/ race thing.#160
I peed in trashcans.#161
I used to collect bugs. Catching them with my bare hands when I was 7. I would put them all in a bucket than release them at the end of the day. Half of the bugs/flies would die by than. I would catch hundreds per day.I still dont know why my parents allowed me to do so.
#162
Put snails in my pants... A lot of them.#163
adviced a pregnant lady to eat less,and she's getting too fat.#164
Pooped in the shower once. I think my child's brain thought pipes are pipes, it’ll get where it needs to go.Completely unrelated public service announcement: plungers don’t work on shower drains.
#165
I thought I could reanimate the dead using a 9 volt battery. I caught a minnow and accidentally left it in a bucket for a few hours, only to find it floating upside down. I felt horrible so I ran inside to grab a a 9 volt battery and some copper wire I had leftover from an experiment and tried to resuscitate it. Unfortunately it didn't work. RIP Fishy.#166
I pulled the fire alarm for an 8 story office building where my mom worked, I'd just always wanted to break one of those little glass rods.#167
Swallow tiny rocks like tablets. Poke pins through a layer of skin on my thumb (e.g. safety pins / school badges)#168
Haha I remember making this sort of squeaking noise, like a guinea pig, if I was aware I was doing it I'd try muffle it but had to do it. It wasn't enough to be a massive deal but enough to get noticed sometimes lol. So, luckily didn't get labelled the weird kid. Strange thing is my son now does it. Hereditary tick? Or just family of freaks ;)#169
I lived in a fridge box in the lounge room for a while when I was about 6 years old. Had an eye slit in the front of it so I could watch tv. It was my own little world full of comfy pillows and blankets and toys. Fond memories.#170
When I was in middle school, a buddy and I had an idea to sell Kool-aide in straws. We would buy a box of 100 straws, fill it with Kool-aide, and staple the ends shut. Depending on the flavor (limited edition) we would charge 5-10 cents. What did we call it? “YOPE”. We went on to hand out little flyers that said “Get all the YOPE you need for as little as 5 cents!” We would make a killing in home room, before the classes began.Our business was good for a few weeks until a teacher asked us about it. Next thing you know the principal came over the loud speaker and said that selling anything in school was against the rules- “fair warning”.
We abruptly stopped, but went on to cut out rectangles of shoe box and glue thick paper on the bottom. They slid so excellently down the hallways like a dirt skateboard.
Oh, all that money went to the arcade. I destroyed anyone in MK II, MK III, and Street Fighter II. Thank you YOPE sales for refueling my gaming habit.
Never became a drug dealer.